We Don’t Convert People: They Convert Themselves

I was part of a number of on-line vegan or vegetarian forums and I think at this point I’ve pretty much left them all. There’s too much bickering, too many insults, and I feel like I just don’t have the energy to deal with it. But there were a number of themes that came up over and over, and so I’d like to address a typical dispute that came up in these areas.

A Made Up Example

Person A: (admits to doing something not vegan, but excuses it) I bought a pure bred puppy, but only because I couldn’t find an American Bulldog puppy at the shelter/ I ride horses, but if I didn’t they’d never get any exercise and I don’t use spurs/ I still eat cheese but only when my mother cooks for me, because I don’t want to hurt her feelings.

Person B: Why are you even here? Buying puppies/riding horses/eating cheese are clearly not vegan activities. Those things contribute to animal suffering for reasons x, y, and z. You’re not vegan, you’re a selfish fraud.

Person A: Well now that you’ve insulted me, I’ll never be vegan! You can’t convert people by yelling at them or telling them they’re doing something wrong.

Person B: How else am I supposed to convince anyone of anything except by telling them something is wrong and then explaining why?

And then we all sit and ponder and wonder what it is we’re supposed to do to convince anyone of anything. Then we all share what it was that changed our minds.

The proponent of yelling and insults says “I became vegan after I was eating a bacon cheeseburger and my girlfriend shouted that I was a stupid hypocrite for loving dogs and eating other animals. I was upset, but then I read more about veganism and realized I WAS a hypocrite.”

The person in favor of non-confrontation says “You can’t tell people what to do. I became vegan after being friends with a vegan for five years. I admired her and finally on my own I asked her some questions about veganism and decided to give it a try.”

The tireless pamphleteer counters “Giving people information is best. I got a pamphlet at school one day and that spurred me to research animal issues and then I went vegan.”

The rocker says “Conversion by music is best. In high school one of my favorite bands put out a song about animals suffering and I found out the whole band was vegan, so I decided to try veganism myself.”

So we debate: what is the magic formula, the precise order of words that inspires someone to change. What we find instead is that when our hearts are open to compassion, in some unguarded moment, the right words, the right brochure, the right song arrives. We had role models and inspirations and examples. We had heavy tomes of information and graphic videos, but nobody changed us. We changed ourselves. We didn’t wait around for someone else to come replace the contents of our refrigerators with vegan alternatives. We didn’t say “that’s awful, but it’s just too hard to change.” We didn’t delay, hoping against hope that somehow we’d see or read something to convince us we didn’t have to give up our coveted bacon sandwiches.

Instead we painstakingly put one foot in front of the other, and many of us stumbled doing so, but we kept trudging toward the goal of a cruelty free life. We made that change and then we found ourselves here asking “how can I convince my Mom?” and “what’s the best brochure to give my best friend?” Because our eyes are open now and we can’t shut them. From this standpoint it’s difficult to understand the passive ones, the change-resistant ones, the ones who see the graphic video footage and shrug it off.

We need to keep putting the information out there, giving out pamphlets, blogging, releasing under cover videos, showing off beautiful vegan food, giving samples, whatever it is we do. Because we want to give everyone the tools they need to understand these issues when they suddenly find themselves open to understanding. We want to keep putting the plight of animals in front of people, so one day they might really see it.

So the question really is, how can we help those around us reach a point of openness and caring so that they can let themselves feel for the animals, so that they can receive the information which is honestly all around them? And if I knew that answer I’d be sitting on a mountain top somewhere showering my words of wisdom on receptive pilgrims.

Since we’re all the hero of our own unwritten autobiography none of us want to let in that creeping doubt that we’re in fact the villain of someone else’s story.

For a long time there was a fad for inspirational posters in offices, you know beautiful scenes of nature with inspiring quotes like “be the change you want to see in the world.” And many of us as vegans take that quote to heart. We are being the change, after all.

Around that same time my brother developed a fondness for snarky posters mocking the inspirational posters. He had one that looked pretty enough, a purple sunset over a beautiful ocean and a large ship. Then you looked closer and realized the ship was sinking. The poster read “Perhaps your only purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.”

Who wants to be the warning? We have such a motivation to cast all our actions in a noble light, to tell our story so that everything we do is benign and all our actions are rooted in love, and bad outcomes are tragedies, but never our own fault. And that in turn is motivation to lie to ourselves about animals, put on blinders and believe that they don’t have it so bad, to block out the voices that tell us we can change our habits to help animals. It’s less painful to just believe we are incapable of doing wrong or making mistakes.

But in a very real sense I am the warning. I want you to try yummy vegan foods, but there’s no need for you to go through all the painful steps I went through to convince you to try them. I’ve made every single mistake there is along the way. Take the easy, high road of veganism—do it now out of nobleness and love. Don’t wait for the universe to punch you in the face to convince you you’re headed in the wrong direction. Although I guess anyone going vegan today in response to global warming and the environmental destruction caused by animal agriculture has every right to claim bragging rights to change via cosmic right hook.