Walking Through Walls in the Heart of December

After all this time the thing that still amazes me the most is the power of the body, the flesh closing up on itself until all that’s left is a scar. The almost supernatural strength there that means the scar on my back is something like five times thicker than the rest of my skin. So thick it aches in really cold weather, and I can feel it, like a tight cord when I bend. Because when my body closed up that wound it said: this time it’s for good, nothing is going to cut this open again. It annoys me, but it’s kind of marvelous.

Likewise the scar on my hand and wrist are quiet and flat and tough and betray no sign of what made them. Blood pumps through my body, my lungs fill with air, and everything works more or less as it should, except of course those things that don’t. But there it is, the stories behind the scars sound ridiculous, because I’m here after all and I’m fine.

I hope this same insane healing power will show up in our bunny Jasmine. She is still sick. Sometimes her appetite returns and we feel hopeful and then the next meal she won’t eat, so we have to give her more of her “critical care” (liquid food for bunnies).

While feeding feral cats I noticed recently that Leilei, a grey and white feral, had caught the upper respiratory virus that is rampant in this colony. I tried putting some lysine in her food, but that didn’t seem to make much difference. There really isn’t much treatment available for a virus like this, but I started getting really worried. Leilei’s eyes were running a lot and she looked so sad. Then suddenly it went away. She ate last night with perfectly clear eyes and no sneezing or wheezing at all. She seemed so happy, practically bouncing across the street as soon as I stepped back from the food. Her body managed to fight off the virus. If her eye infection had gotten really bad I would have had to have trapped her and taken her to the vet, but as I said there isn’t much medication that helps and ferals can be made sicker from the stress of the trap and the vet.

I’m glad Leilei is better and seems to have no lasting ill effects from her illness.

The thing with scars is that they take root in our minds as well, not just on our skin.